we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
