I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
