We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
