the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
