I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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