did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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