just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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