I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
