i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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