Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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