Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
