Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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