and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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