first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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