Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
