Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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