1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
