hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
