You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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