So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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