If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
