But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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