he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
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DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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