Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
