The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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