you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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