HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i believe in u and ur pee
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
