I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Shame is for Republicans.
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