How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
3pm strippers are depressing
you had me at cake vodka
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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