I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
