They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
