I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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