You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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