I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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