That's intense
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
