Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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