Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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