WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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