I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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