i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
