I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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