i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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