Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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