Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
