my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
