is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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