I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
