So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
jump out the window naked night went bad
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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