Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
