I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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