Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
