i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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