Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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