Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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