I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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