from now on my penis is your penis
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
