i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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