I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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